This Category: My Latest Thoughts

 

Juggling

The first time I saw my sixth grade teacher, Mrs. Duncan, she was standing in the middle of the school yard juggling three jaguars—the animals—not the cars. She said juggling cars is dangerous!

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Pushy  Bath Towels                       

I no longer use regular size bath towels after I shower. Instead, I use a couple of face towels, which are smaller and easier to manage. The full size bath towels were too large and cumbersome. They’re also very confrontational and bossy. The last time I tried to use a regular size bath towel it was like wrestling with a terrycloth octopus.

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Dangerous Free Offer  

Someday a seedy looking stranger might approach you and offer, absolutely free, a tie–die treatment for your face. As attractive as the offer might seem, because of its current great popularity, I advise you to decline the offer and then immediately run away! If the man doesn’t want to charge you anything, you can be sure he is an absolute amateur and he will do a poor job. No one wants to show up for work on Monday morning after receiving an amateurish tie–die face treatment. I found it quite embarrassing.

 

She’s All Mixed Up                                   

Her right eye was blue. Her left eye was an ear. She had two left hands, but one was an elbow. Oh dear! She was just a poorly assembled manikin!

 

Repairs                                                                     

In ancient Greece a husband and wife were having breakfast. The wife glanced out the kitchen window.

She said, “Flavius, why is that man in our back yard? He’s carrying a tool box.”

“Sophia, that’s the repairman, Sebastian. He’s here to install fresh batteries in our sundial. It’s been running a little slow, lately.”

 

Uncle Carl                                                                

My Uncle Carl was crabby all the time until his wife, my aunt Louise, consulted doctors for advice. Things got a lot better with Uncle Carl and Aunt Louise after surgeons removed Uncle Carl’s crabby personality and replaced it with a festive beach ball.

 

New Musical Chairs Game                                           

In my new version of the old game, two rows of chairs are set up back to back, per the traditional game, but now there is a chair for every player. The players line up around the rows of chairs, the music starts, and then players joyfully march around the rows of chairs. After several seconds the music stops and each player scrambles to grab a chair. But they don’t sit down. They each pick up a chair and run out of the building with it; toss their chair into their cars and then each person takes their chair home.

So – no more chairs, no more players, no more music. Empty room. Game over! What fun!